Nostalgia Time! RuneScape
8 August 2024
A long, long time ago my cousin came to visit me and we went to play on the computer. We did not play the simple little flash games I was familiar with, oh no. He showed me a medieval fantasy game called RuneScape (or if you're my mum, Run Escape) and encouraged me to make a character. I did, and I was hooked.
I don't know precisely when I started playing, but I think it might have been mid-2004. I'm looking at the game updates and I don't remember playing when they released, but given I would've been a free player for the first several months, and given I was a literal child that didn't give a fuck about news updates I probably missed them all. I do know it was after the RuneScape 2 release, which was a major graphical overhaul replacing this:
Source: moregameslike.com
With this:
Source: gameogre.com
RuneScape has a free tier and a paid tier. The paid tier is referred to as "members", and adds in several new skills, hundreds of quests, and a vastly expanded game world to play in. I was extremely envious of members when I was a kid, you could stand outside members areas but there would usually be a closed gate preventing you from getting in. I would stand in front of these gates and dream of all the possibilities that sat on the other side.
Eventually I persuaded my mum to buy me members and much like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas I ran to the first person I saw and asked if this was a members world. "ye" he (not so) enthusiastically replied, but not even all the diarrhoea in the world could shit on my parade this day - I was a member. I pick-pocketed innocent bystanders, got yelled at by gnomes, brewed potions with druids and infiltrated a monkey town. Yes, really.
My favourite place in all of RuneScape was the city of Ardougne, which to this day nobody knows how to pronounce. I can confidently say, however, that my attempt is by far the worst. I somehow missed the fact there is a "d" in there and pronounced it "Aragorn".
Source: Lord of the Rings, obviously
What I perhaps remember best is how I could tell if I was ready to beat a boss. Most quests in the game are finished by beating a boss, extra tough monsters with more than the usual amount of health that can deal a lot of damage. One particular quest, "Horror from the Deep", involved a large sea-dwelling creature that could walk on land. Picture a shark with legs that can fire needles out of its face. I struggled with this boss so much, time after time I'd enter the cave, and time after time I'd run screaming out. Finally, after what seemed like an infinite number of attempts, I was ready to go back in, but this time... I needed to pee.
So I did. And then I fought. And I WON!
Ever since then whenever I had a boss fight in RuneScape I knew that if I had to pee beforehand I would win. If I didn't need to go, I'd have to wait until I did. This never failed me, not once. This is what pro gamers call a "strat".
RuneScape still exists in two varieties. You have Old School RuneScape, which was originally a re-release of the game as it stood in 2007 but has had so many updates since then there's nothing old school about it, and RuneScape 3, the "original timeline" of the game which... also does not resemble the original game in any way.
I have so many dear memories in this game I could write forever, but I think that's enough for now. I may revisit RuneScape in a future Nostalgia Times post. If you have any RuneScape stories drop me a note on my NeoCities page, I'd love to hear them!
~ Honey